Yesterday I entered a new patient who was somewhat tearful as she related that the major reason for her beginning our program was her husband's unhappiness with her weight situation.
We all would like to think that the reason(s) why we want to lose weight our our own...not outside pressure from a spouse, parent or other family member. However, it is a very sensitive situation when a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other seems dissatisfied with the physical status of the affected, overweight person. In the case of the female overweight person, usually the male partner is a Type "A", avid exercising person who never struggles with weight control. Often, not being a medical person, the male is very insensitive to the weight struggles that the female incurs. Its not as if the female is eating Bon-bons every nite...metabolism slows and the weight control issues spiral.
I am not certain what the "answer" is to this very complicated issue. Feeling attractive is often influenced by what others think about our look, and in the case of a spouse or lover, this is even more blatant.
I do not believe that losing weight saves marriages, because if a weight control issue was the make or break of a relationship, then the relationship is probably not worth keeping. However, losing weight for one's self makes you happier, healthier, better self-confidence, and yes, others will find you more attractive. Is that important to you? You need to answer that question for yourself. Tough issue this morning, but one that does require soul searching for each of us.
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3 comments:
I can relate to this patient in a away. I, another patient, was the one feeling that my weight was a concern not only for my health but for my relationship with my husband. He never complained to me about it but the heavier I got the less attractive I felt and the less I wanted to be intimate. Now 3 months later I am 36 lbs lighter and feeling wonderful. I am receiving compliments on a regular basis how good I look. Although I am feeling wonderful and having more energy, my husband is now the one who is feeling down on himself. I now try to balance helping him with his eating habits and in turn keeping his self esteem up with continuling to do what is healthy for me. I feel guilty sometimes when he is so happy that I am doing good because I know the more I am successful, the more he feels horrible and is putting himself down.
Good Morning,
I am embarassed to say I have been on the sp diet for two weeks and this is my first time on the blog. I totally forogt about it! I just happened to see it a few minutes ago as I was browsing through the website. I have nothing but good things to say about this diet. As most people I'm sure, I had my doubts about it in the beginning. But it didn't take long for me to be completely convinced this diet works! In two weeks my weight has dropped from 184 lbs to 173 lbs. 11 lbs, WOW! I'm so excited. And the best part is, I'M NOT STARVING! I am a little nervous about one thing though. In between my serotonin doses, I can feel my carb cravings starting to kick in, but as soon as I take the serotonin caplets, it immediately goes away. I'm so afraid I won't be able to control the cravings once I'm off the serotonin and the weight will all come back. Can someone who's been off the diet a while share how they're managing their appetite/carb cravings.
I think we are our harshest critics. I am a borderline perfectionist and if I'm not happy with myself I feel like everyone around me feels the same disgust. Now that I am on the program I am starting to feel more in control of myself and more importantly my body! Although my fiancee says he was never not attracted to me, he says he is very pleased with my renewed positive demeanor.
For "awilliams243" I am not off the diet. Im probably about as far along as you are. Anyway, I have a strange schedule and tweaked the times I take my pills, I also discussed it with the PA. The change was minor but helped with my lifestyle and cravings a bunch! Good luck!
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