Good morning...as you can tell from the time of this entry, your good Doctor cannot sleep tonight...but I was thinking of a really fun story a patient told me yesterday. I asked her if I could use the story for my blog this morning, and she said it was fine.
The patient is cllose to 60 years old and has lost lots of weight in the program. She was at a dinner party over the weekend, and was sitting at a table with her husband and some other couples. Some guy sitting next to her leaned over at one point and told her how "great she looked". He repeated this several times and at the end of the night, not in earshot of her husband or the guy's wife, he asked her if he could call her. The patient was shocked, firmly said "NO!!!" and then went home.
Why the point of the story? Well, as much as the patient was shocked by the guy's aggressive behavior, she said to me yesterday that "It has been 30 years since I have been aggressively approached", and she smiled lots telling the story. If felt great for her to know that her "look" generated a horn-dog response from a guy.
Yes, losing weight makes us much healthier but it also makes us look younger and more attractive to ourselves and others. We all wantr our spouses to be the ones to notice this and make the compliments, but it sometimes is ego-boosting to have others notice as well!
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Hi everyone.. just another add on to Dr. Posner's post today. When I first slimmed down few years back (working on a tune up now)I had a similar odd experience. My husband started asking about a new friendship I formed in the office with a guy. He was a runner and challenged me to train with him for an 8k. I was quite a few years his senior and thought of the office mate as a fun kid with a great sense of humor. But here my husband was asking what his intentions were.
What never entered my mind was that my husband, a man that loved me at all sizes, was now seeing me with different eyes. And all because my shape had changed. Kind of a wake up call to me that somehow I was more visible in a healthier body ... maybe I was more open and engaging with people and not just a part of the landscape anymore.
I had to step back and realize that when we feel good about ourselves others will gravitate to the livelier you. When I was heavier I carried myself differently. Not even so much on a concious level but I know I wasn't starting conversations.. I was waiting to be invited into conversations.
Having struggled with weight for a good portion of my life I did not want going after a lower number on the scale to change who I was on the inside or how I viewed others. Yet here others are now viewing me differently. They have a new expectation of me.
What to do with that? Well I just draw upon the experience to remember we all want to be at our best no matter what weight we are. And maybe next time be sure to ask the person in the group not starting conversations what they would like to talk about.
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