weight loss and friends/familial support

I heard several stories yesterday of patients who went home recently for the holidays and were barraged with gifts of candies, cakes, and other high-caloric foods. These came from family members who knew their relative was in a weight losing mode.

I have many patients tell me that they specifically do NOT tell their friends about being on a weight loss effort because they fear the friends would intentionally try to sabotage their efforts.

When you take a step back and think more about this, in the case of family members I have a hard time believeing that they have any true intention of hurting you/your efforts but rather, using food is a source of showing love and nuturing. In the case of friends, I believe there is a jealousy factor involved, meaning that if you are successful in becoming healthioer and looking younger, this may point out even more the unhealthy look and lack of willpower in the friend(s) trying to do the sabotage.

The bottom line is we should all help each other in the mission to become a healthier and happier nation. Help your relatives and friends by having alternative food and drink sources at your house that would be conducive with your/their effort. NEVER implore people to "oh, you must try this dessert I baked for you..."..."Oh come on, a little piece of the birthday cake can't hurt you..." SUPPORT people around you and seek their support. It will make all of us more successful in our efforts to be healthier, look younger, and feel better about ourselves.

Family and friends..a sensitive issue

If you saw a family member, friend or loved one about ready to eat a food source that you knew was tainted with salmonella, you would quickly yell or get their attention immediately to stop them from getting harmed.

If you see a family member, friend or loved one with obesity, and intellectually you knew that their health was being significantly jeopardized by their weight, would you figure out a way of getting their attention and trying to stop them from being harmed?

The two examples above are very different, yet bear this similarity: you never want any illness, or even worse, premature death occurring in the people who are so very dear to you. Yet, in the first example, without hesitation, you would move swiftly and aggressively to get the person's attention but in the latter example, you find it very difficult to broach the subject. This is very common, meaning that it is a highly sensitive issue to bring up in conversation someone else's weight problems. You fear hurting the person's feelings, invading their privacy, and otherwise risking your friendship or relationship with that person. I had two patients yesterday who told me that their own doctors never told them they needed to lose weight. Physcician's are supposed to be objective medical professionals, and if some find it uneasy to bring up weight issues to a person, all of us can imagine how difficult it is to bring these issues up to our friends or loved ones.

Please consider a tactful approach to people in your lives who are important to you. Your intervention is only out of love and caring...not hurtful. You may be saving the life of a loved one.