weight loss and disappointment

Good Saturday morning...first, Suzanne, I promise you I will not show up at your house checking the contents of your fridge! (But I cannot promise that I will not show up on a commercial on your favorite 2am tv show if you have insomnia some nite).

Ellen told me that Kirstie Alley's discussion on the Oprah show Thursday included thoughts about "diappointment", meaning that apparently Ms. Alley felt that she had let her sponsor, Jenny Craig, "down" by regaining all the weight she lost...and more.

Often, when a patient of ours comes in and had a challenging week, the person seems reticent about getting on the scale not so much because they are upset, but more because they feel that they are "letting their doctor down". I always reassure the patient that we/I feel not one bit of diappointment in that person for a week of weight gain. We are here to help people lose weight..not "judge" them, and our support does not change one bit based on that weeks results.

Psychologically, we are all not immune to the feelings that our actions somehow affect the way other's see us. I have had many patients who do not tell one person they are in a medical weight loss program for fear that if they leave and put weight back on, the people around them will see them as "losers". The fear of "failure" in front of others often motivates us to be more aggressive, and whether it be our weight loss program or any other physicians, the success of a medically supervised weight loss program is in part the "accountability"...knowing you have to get on that scale in front of someone else. When that someone else is a medical professional, that is an even more traumatic event in the case of no weight loss.

Your efforts to lose weight and your success in reaching your goals are only for you to "judge". My staff and I are here to help you achieve the results you desire and as best you can, try to eliminate any thoughts that a weight gaining week somehow "disappoints" us. Similarly, your friends, family and loved ones should be looked at as support and not the Olympic panel of judges. Furthermore, please try to look at the "big picture" meaning that do not look at yourself in the mirror after a week of weight gain as a "loser" or "failure". Use a week of no weight loss or gain to motivate you to re-gather your determination and make the next week more aggressive.

In the case of Ms. Alley, I do suppose she didn't have to give the money back. No one is paying you to lose weight...it is YOUR desire to be healthier and happier that is YOUR motivation. These will serve you much better as motivation long-term than a check from the folks at Nutrisystem or Jenny.