"I Can't" vs. "I Won't" Eat That

Yesterday I had a patient who told me that a very important mental "shift" for her was the concept of not looking at losing weight as a series of "I cannot eat that" episodes. She went on to explain that when she is involved in social situations with other people, and a high-caloric food source would appear or an alcohol containing drink, she found herself constantly explaining to people that because of her desire to lose weight she would say and think "I cannot eat that". My patient then came to the realization that thinking in this way was making her weight loss efforts burdensome, because almost like a child being told by their parent to "not do that", her food choices seemed imposed by someone else. She then went through a mental exercise of changing this concept to "I Won't have this". What she means by this is that by changing her mindset to making food choices that she is controlling as opposed to some external mandated edicts, my patient is now able to feel better about being sround others during these social events. She is now able to feel better about telling the party host that she will take a pass on the marguerita not because she wants to but it is "forbidden", but rather it is her conscious choice to bypass this in order to achieve a happier and healthier weight.

It is very difficult to be around a social event and watch others eat and drink the food and alcohol sources that we know taste good. But often it is exactly these food sources that put us at a weight that is unhealthy and makes us ultimately very unhappy. Feeling in control of your food choices as opposed to feeling that there is an external parent-like monitor telling you "not to eat this, not to eat that" would be a more psychologically favorable mindset to help you lose weight and keep it off.